Frustrated

I sent out this email to Luke's Health teacher last night at nearly 11 pm:

Mr. Brooks,

After working online w/ Luke for 2 hours planning meals and trying to negotiate the website, we lost all 'our' work because I had failed to register properly. We were only halfway through Part 1 of the Test.

There is no way Luke could do this assignment on his own. I am willing to help him w/ his homework, but if he cannot do it w/o my help, it seems it must be too difficult an assignment for the average 8th grader. I have 4 other children who also need my time and attention and cannot devote massive amounts of time to this assignment, nor can he neglect his other classes. Luke needs to be able to own his education, and that is simply impossible when he cannot do an assignment without help from his mom.

I would like to set up a time when he can come in and have you help him complete this activity, because if an adult has to help him, I feel it should be the teacher, not the parent. He has release time last period when he can come in, or after school.

Thank you,
--
Kristin Johnson

I realize I should not have sent this in my state of extreme anger/frustration, what's the old saying? Never speak in anger? Yeah, um, I'm not so good at that... and, angry tone notwithstanding, I still feel that what I said is true. I mean, if I wanted to homeschool Luke, I'd KEEP HIM HOME AND DO IT! I know, I'm justifying my behavior. It was a rude email and there is no excuse. It's already been proven that I have this fault (see previous post).

At Paradigm (Chris' school) they believe that if the students are there for nearly 40 hrs. a week and if they do their jobs well, the students should get an awesome education. Homework cuts into time that should be set aside for the family, as the kids have ALREADY been in school for 6-8 hours! The Kids' charter school in Cedar City had this same philosophy and it was fantastic. Some kids never have time to BE KIDS by the time they finish their homework, sports, lessons and/or musical practice. It's getting out of hand, isn't it?

I almost considered making Luke go to Paradigm, Chris was all for forcing him. I know he'd get a far superior education. Buuuuut, the rest is all downside. Gone for 10 hrs. a day, have to buy a whole new wardrobe (uniforms), no school lunch, AND he'd have to sit for about an hour after school every day and wait for Chris. Good time to do homework you say? NO! No homework! He could read. Or he could work, since he's already a Paradigm employee (summer job doing janitorial stuff). It would be good for him. He'd get a great education, make about $50 a week, and best of all, I wouldn't have to stay up till midnight helping him w/ his homework. He could still play hang out w/ his friends after he gets home as they are usually occupied till 5pm doing their own homework. Now that I think of it, maybe he should go to Paradigm...

I think we'll re-visit this discussion.

Did you know?

The Church History Museum is open on Sundays?

They have a hands on children's space?

The Joseph Smith movie plays in the North Visitors Center (at 1:30 and 4:30)?

My mom is a docent once a week there, so she told us to go in before the end of the month because it will be closed for a couple of months while they re-do the children's exhibit. The kids really enjoyed it. They had lots for them to do, and we ultimately had to drag Kate and Ella out of there. We also got to look at the replica of the golden plates, which were really cool.

Sunday's are looooong when church gets out at noon. We usually try to get a nap w/ the mandatory 'quiet hour' after lunch, but then it's still 4-5 hrs. of,

"I'm bored. Can we watch TV?"

"No."

"Play the Wii?"

"No."

"Jump on the trampoline in our swimsuits?"

"No."

"Play Poptropica?"

"No."

"WHAT CAN WE DO?"

"Read, color, play a board game, go for a walk, LEAVE ME ALONE!!!!"

Well, today we tried something different. It was great. I had dinner all set to go in the crock pot, and off we went (well... I did, but we ended up eating at the Spaghetti Factory, cuz you know, we don't want to be translated or anything... but we learned our lesson, $70 for spaghetti? Really?!) We can't wait till November when the new exhibit is up and running. They're going to have the ship that Nephi built, and Lehi's tent, it sounds like it'll be really cool. Until then, I guess we'll just have to listen to the "I'm bored's" on Sunday afternoon. Or maybe we'll institute 'Quiet 4 hours'. Hmmm....

Here's a not-so-great-we-forgot-the-camera-but-we-have-the-iphone photo.

The power of the written word

So it was inevitable, but I've officially offended someone through the blog medium. I made a comment-in jest- on a friends blog about a mutual friends previous comment and he didn't think it was funny. He took offense where NONE was intended. Is this my problem? Part of me says no, but a bigger part says YES. *Sigh* I don't want anyone to feel bad because of something I've said.

This is the reason I didn't want to get involved in the blogging circle here in our new ward. Not because I think these people are easily offended, but because they hardly know me, and therefore, don't always understand my sarcasm. Granted, it can be difficult to portray that in black and white, which is why I almost always follow a comment of that nature with a winky guy- ;) or a LOL. Winky guy didn't make a difference though in this instance. He's still mad/upset/hurt, and I feel bad. Crap.

I wish I could say that it will never happen again, but let's be realistic, I am who I am (a line crosser, according to Chris) and people get offended. Even people that I've known for 30+ years. If you read something that offends you, PLEASE! Just don't read anymore. I can't take it. I don't want to sensor myself on my own blog. But I will try harder when I comment on someone else's from now on.

Busted

Not me. Kate. Or rather, her arm. She was over at the neighbor's house, something about playing 'mexican jumping beans'-- friend tripped, pushed her down, put out her hand to catch herself, and well, fractures in both arm bones, just below the wrist. She came straight home howling up a storm, which I'm used to, but something just seemed wrong, so I had Ella go wake up Chris, who was taking a short nap before dinner (board mtg. till 1:30 am. I know. Don't get me started). He was too groggy to be much help, but thought I should take her to the ER, since it was 5pm.

I'm like, "Noooo, that will be $200 just to be seen. AND I'll have to drive into Salt Lake or pay $400 at the ER here. We'll go to the $35 Instacare."

And he's like, "You can't take a broken arm to the Instacare, you have to go to the ER."

And I'm all, "Are you on drugs? Of course they can handle a broken arm!"

And he's all glassy eyed and obviously not quite coherent, so I just called them, and of course I was right.

For the record, you CAN go to Instacare for broken bones. HOWEVER, they will just put a splint on it, take an X-ray, and send you to the Orthopedist to be casted when the swelling goes down. Which is what my family doc probably would have done (so said the Instacare doc). Just think of all us 'old timers' who just got a cast without seeing a specialist! How did we survive?

Soooo, long story short, Kate cried a lot, and I'm going to be crying when we have to pay our $500 deductible, because I'm sure it'll come to much more than that when it's all said and done (did you know casting is billed as a surgery? yeah, they gave me a whole page to read about it, ridiculous! the NURSE did it, and you know SHE's not getting extra).

*sigh*

Kids. Man they are getting expensive. I need to hire them out as day laborers so they can earn their keep... or I could just sue the neighbors.

Totally kidding--WE WOULD NEVER, because that's just not how free range parents think. Do I need to add Winky guy so no one thinks I'm serious? Do I? I'm gun shy now.

Mystery Solved

I'd say this clears up all questions of Paternity, wouldn't you?

Like I have time/interest in an affair. Get serious.

More about Jesus

Ella said to me today, as I was stuffing half a peach into my mouth:

"Jesus can eat that whole thing. His mouth is bigger than yours. He has a really big mouth."

Hmm... Not sure what to say to that...

Really?

School started today (can I get a woot woot!?). Tess informed me last night that she had no clean clothes. Great.

"Well, find your cleanest outfit, and next time, bring your laundry down on time!" Kate did have clean clothes, but she really really really wanted to wear her favorite shirt, that was also dirty. Whatever. I'm past it.

Tess also said they (all the kids on the street) were going to meet at 8:15am in front of the ___'s house to 'take pictures'. Hmmm... Do I need to go to that? 'Cause really, I wasn't planning on being out of my PJ's at that hour. Well, I guess I can just run over in my jammies, no one will care.

Well, I didn't get to bed till midnight. I listened to Chris snore for a good hour before I finally dozed off. Zeke was up at 3:40am. I let him cry for 30 min before I got up. AS SOON AS I got back into bed 20 min. later, here comes Ella, with a leg ache. Move over, rub her leg, for another 30 min. Then she kicked and crowded me till 5:45 am when Chris' alarm went off, and then I had to endure his morning routine for the next 30 min., because he apparently thinks I am a heavy sleeper. At 6:45 am the door slams (twice) and he's off. Oh, and here's Luke's alarm, which is so loud it woke Tess across the hall, and Kate, directly underneath. So now they're all laughing, giggling, and clanking around like it's noon day. HOLY COW PEOPLE! I swear, if they wake the baby, there will be HELL to pay!

I can only listen to this mayhem for so long when I drag my weary bones out of bed to go shush! them all. Next comes BAM BAM BAM on the door, that would be Luke's friends come to collect him and now Ella is awake and it's go time because Zeke is crying, so I guess I might as well get him up and go over for the 'first-day-of-school-photo-shoot', when I pass a mirror and think better of it. On second thought, why don't you two just stand there while I snap a quick shot of you in your old, dirty clothes.

I found out after school, that not only did my wonderful neighbors and model parents have their little photo shoot, they also ALL walked to school with the kids. You know, 'cause it's the first day, and that's what good parents do.

I bet their kids were wearing clean new clothes and had a hot homemade breakfast in them too.

Sh**!! Can I PLEASE go back to bed now?!

Temper Temper...

Kate and Zeke are the most 'Johnson' of all my kids. Both in looks, and temperament. They are my only two that suck their fingers, or have other OCD's. Kate twirls her hair, Zeke plays with his ears.

Kate was a really hard baby. She cried nonstop for basically her first 3 weeks of life. I always blamed the trauma of the home birth, but now, I'm starting to wonder if maybe it just wasn't her personality. She was difficult till she turned 3. Zeke on the other hand, has been a dream baby. Calm, sweet, mellow. Perfect for an old, tired mom. Until now. The other day, Ella took something away from him, and he threw himself face down on the tile floor and started beating it with his hands and feet, screaming. I'm not sure, because I've never seen one, but I think it was a bona fide temper tantrum. Don't get me wrong, he's still pretty mellow, but we're starting to see a bit of defiance coming out of him, and it's making me nervous.

Hell hath no fury like an angry Johnson (Not Chris, he's pretty much 'Even Steven', but I've heard stories of relatives... *shudder*).

Please please please... I need my sweet boy to stay calm... for at least 18 years...

Killing time

Making baby hats and booties. Seems like everyone I know is having a baby these days. Wait, wasn't I just having a baby? Where did 10 months go? Why am I still fat?

Anyway, here's the photo Melissa.

On another note, while many of my friends and family are now starting to reap the fruits of their labors, gardening-wise, this is what I've got:

What the heck are those? you say, well, obviously, they are Caprise tomatoes. So said the tag on the plants that I bought at Costco. I have four of these babies. I'm no tomato expert, but I'd say these are the smallest tomatoes ever grown. I mean look at that, 16 tomatoes in one hand full! Pitiful. Kate is eating them as fast as the plants can produce their meager harvest. So much for canning tomatoes this year.

Anyone got extra tomatoes? I really wanted to can more than ONE pint jar this year...

Professionals

The girls called me in to the bathroom to look at their 'beards'. They used up half a bottle of shampoo *errgghh* to make these bubbles.

Me: Don't get soap in your mouths.

Kate: We won't Mom, we're professionals!

(Can you believe how dark Kate is? She has the most gorgeous skin. I'm so jealous.)

Old Rocker

Chris was practically in a dither last week when he told me that Led Zeppelin was in town and putting on a concert w/ the Utah Symphony. Can I go? It's on Saturday, the 14th.

Hmmm, I know there's something that day... what is it?

It took me a minute to think of it, oh yeah, it's our 18th anniversary!

Of course he had already made plans to go w/ his BFF, Dusty, but he tried to include me.

Nah. I'll pass. I do not like Zeppelin, or concerts for that matter, and I'd have to miss Zeke's last feed, and that would stress me out. Besides, me, Chris and Dusty? Hardly a romantic evening.

Well it turns out that it was NOT Zeppelin but a cover band PLAYING Zeppelin songs. *snicker* Too bad he convinced Dusty and Scott to join him, and that they had all planned to take the older kids...

When they got home he informed me that our children are NOT rockers. Whew. Glad to hear that. Chris did enjoy himself though, even though the venue sucked and the kids were mostly bored.

the girlies, Hannah and Abby Warr and Tess

Happy Anniversary babe!

Murmur Murmur

My children have been complaining and whining a lot lately. A LOT. Last night the sh** hit the fan when after we JUST left the movie theater (a special treat for family night where I EVEN bought them popcorn and sodas), they started to whine that we were going home to eat dinner, and that we couldn't go out to eat.

I put up w/ their complaints for about... oh... 2 minutes. Then I LOST IT. I drove them straight home and told them to get out of the car. Luke and Tess were going to be the 'mom' and fix dinner, take care of the baby and get the littles into bed, I was leaving and THEY HAD BETTER BE IN BED BY THE TIME I GOT BACK! Sccrrreeeeeccchhh (that was the sound of my tires as I burned away from the house)! I then drove around for 30 minutes to cool off, but it wasn't working, so I took MYSELF to dinner.

I stayed away for as long as I could, and then reluctantly drove home to nurse the baby. I was still frustrated though, and didn't know what to do about the kids. As I lay in bed thinking about them, and what I could do to better handle the situation (arguably, abandonment is not model parenting) the thought came to me, I need to be able to teach my children w/o getting so mad at them. I need to chill. So I said a little prayer that the Lord would grant me peace and patience and help me to be a better mother (This is my prayer EVERY night btw. It's obviously a work in progress). I then lay there plotting all the punishments and tortures I could think of to 'teach them a lesson', those rotten stinking kids (ah, the irony), and finally drifted off to sleep.

When Kate came into my room to tell me the baby was up and poopy, I said, "Go tell Tess to take care of it." And when Ella came in wanting breakfast, I said, "Go get Luke, he's your mom today." Then I lay there thinking, "That'll show 'em! They'll think twice about whining when the shoe is on the other foot!"

Oh but wait. That's probably not the best way to handle this. Hmmm... back to square one. So what should I do? Obviously, I was still mad. I got up and started some laundry thinking about my dilemma, what to do? Kill them now? Stuff their little bodies in with all the rotting apricots? Get in the car and drive to Texas, never look back? Murder or Abandonment... these are the solutions that came to mind. Sigh.

I should read my scriptures, that's what I should do. Clear my mind. Take a deep cleansing breath. Just Breathe. And what do I immediately come across? Laman and Lemuel murmuring. Perfect. I should teach my children through the scriptures. The scriptures have all the answers, I only need to follow them.

So, I gathered my little complainers around and we read scripture after scripture about murmuring. I tried to point out the pattern that was being presented. Murmuring (complaining, whining) leads to destruction. We turned to the Index and I had Luke read what comes after the heading Murmur:

Murmur, Murmuring (see also Complain; Contention; Disobedience; Disputation; Dissension, Hardheartedness, Rebel)

Interesting chain, yes? Complaining eventually leads to rebellion. It's the 'gateway' to falling away. I tried to explain this to them. I had them look up every scripture under this heading and then tell me what happened to all those people who murmured. Those who did not repent, and change their ways eventually fell away and some caused the Church and others great problems. I asked them who they wanted to be like, Laman and Lemuel or Sam and Nephi?

It's going to take a while for this habit to be overcome in our home (I could tell by the way Luke immediately started complaining about the scripture assignment... sigh), but we are going to perservere and overcome it or die trying. I'm determined to have less complaining. I'm determined to keep a level head... 1 hour down, 20 billion to go.

I may need Prozac.

Oh, and I guess I should practice what I preach... so no more murmuring about my children. Starting... NOW.

Paramilitary Training

My BFF and her family came and spent a few days w/ us in July. It was wonderful. Her kids are so great, and I wish we lived closer. Sigh. I miss my friends. I know, I know, whine whine.

Every 6 yo girl should know how to handle herself around an assault riffle right?

'Little Luke' setting his sights (sorry Di, I know you just looove the Johnson's getting your kids all hyped up for BB guns!)

Girls doing what girls do best... HAIR! I think they were going for the 'seuss-ish' look that may or may not be in style right now...

Fun times with the Ferre Family. Pictures of our visit to the This is the Place Monument Park to come... eventually. (No pressure Di. Whenever you get around to it...)

Ryder Lake 2010

The annual boys trip to Ryder Lake in the Uintah's. Backpacking, fishing, hiking, male bonding. Sissies need not apply. This is the boulder field you have to scramble up to get into the valley, and the reason why I will never see the inside of said valley. Well, that and the killer mosquitos. Honestly, I can live w/o being eaten alive by bugs.

Hmmm, what is he going to do with this? Fend off wildlife during the climb? Hack through the dense vegetation? Maybe there's a homicidal backpacker up there? Beware crazies! Luke is armed and dangerous!

Ethan and Luke, cousins, but also great friends

(Not pictured, but also attending Ryder 2010, Chris, Ryan, Dru and Graham)

Snowbird

We went to Snowbird w/ my BFF and her kids, way back in July, I'm just now getting to it because these photos were on the 'lost' camera. I am grateful that it was recovered. This is proof that we did do something this summer.

This is at the top of the tram, Johnson's, Ferre's, and Rosko's kids

Just the Johnson kids

Diana, me, and Monica (both from AZ, both roomies at BYU... ages ago)

A ride up the chair lift w/ Kate, Ella, and Zeke. They were all too small to do most of the fun stuff, so we took a nice scenic ride up and back. If you have older kids, they can do the alpine slide, the ropes course, the bungee trampolines, and the zip line. Otherwise, it's pretty much just the tram, chair lift and bounce houses. It was really hard when I had Zeke to tend, but the kids had a great time, so I'm glad we did it (Costco has discount tickets that make it $22/day for all the activities, if you're interested).

Camping... Johnson style

Cirque de Johnson

So we FINALLY got to go try out our Circus tent. This ward has a campout every year, something I grew up doing, but have never since been in a ward in my adult life that has attempted it. It's really fun, and the kids LOOOOVE it. The ward reserves a group site up at Hyrum Res, and as far as camping goes, it's pretty much the bomb. Huge grassy(NO DIRT!) field w/ huge shade trees all around, fresh water, garbage cans, picnic pavilion, picnic tables, volleyball court, fire ring, amphitheater, no-touch flush toilets and sinks, and oh yeah, SHOWERS baby! Add that it is just a short hike over to the 'beach', and only 1.5 hrs. away from home, it's pretty much as good as it gets (for us non-camper types).

So Chris came home early from work, packed us up and we all headed out Thursday. He set up the tent and then the spectators started coming 'round. There was all-out gawking going on. He started to feel a little self-conscious about it. I just thought it was funny.

"Man! That is ONE HUGE tent!"

"Is this the Cultural Hall?"

"I think I may have tent-envy!"

"Just how many kids are you going to have?"

"When do the tours start?"

"I just had to come look at this tent!"

Chris' standard reply, "Well, it didn't look so big sitting next to Cabela's..."

Good hearted mocking aside, it was GREAT! We had 9 people in there, and we had oddles of room. We could easily have had 4 more people. If we ever have to live in that tent, we'll be set up. My only complaint, no sound proof room for the baby... but, hey, the car did the trick for that. Enter my awesome mini van w/ stow-and-go back seats! Just fold those puppies down, push in the porta-crib, chuck in the baby, slam the door, and PRESTO! Sound proof baby room. Which begs the question, If you can't hear the baby crying... is there really a baby?

I don't know, but I do know it was NOT Zeke that kept me up all night. Neither was it my bed, since we brought it with us (6 in. memory foam mattress, straight off MY bed, thanks to our trailer, we can pretty much load up the entire house).

Zeke in his BYUH hoodie

So if it wasn't the baby... or the bed... what did keep me up... for two nights in a row?

Noisy fellow campers

Teenagers running amuck (freedom!)

Campfire sing-a-longs

Wind noise

Zippers!

Kate grinding her teeth

Luke rustling around on his noisy air mattress

Yuki (my niece) moaning

Ella crying in bouts

Chris snoring

More Zipping!

Owls that sound suspiciously like crying babies... (sorry Melissa)

Well, you name it, pretty much everything. I mean, a canvas wall containing 9 people, separating us from 60 more people... I don't know how the Pioneers ever got any sleep. I wonder if you just get used to it? And they didn't even have Excedrin PM! Oh but wait, they were walking 5-20 miles every day... that might make you a little more tired than sitting around on your butt, crocheting, gabbing, and stuffing your face all day. Well, I'm just grateful it wasn't me, and tonight I'm looking forward to my own room, with only one snoring person to contend with.

I think that this trip was a success, because I am actually thinking about camping again, in a few weeks. Hey, we have to put this tent to good use! Who's up for a little camping with the Johnson's? We'll squeeze you in.

crawdad hunting is a favorite activity for Luke

The Campbell's brought up stuff to paint faces with. Kate ruined her shorts, and Ella her pillowcase w/ the acrylics. Oh well.

Luke let all the girls do his face. We call this, Rainbow measles.

fun on the 'beach', giving themselves mud baths

what is he doing here?

the 'lost boys' slept under the stars the second night, which spared us all from Luke's heavy breathing/tossing and turning/un-showered stench

Aunt Melissa's morning face

Melissa's happy face

Mom's crazy camper face

Ella, where are the marshmallows?

glow sticks, courtesy of the camp 'pied piper', Brother Lowe

scoping out the beach

Takeshi's bed-head