What's wrong with this picture?

That's what I said to Chris yesterday when he arrived at church with Ella. He had gotten her dressed. Her dress was on backwards. I can understand that he didn't think to comb the rats nest out of her hair, but really? You couldn't tell the tag was in front?! His reply, "The buttons always go in the back!" Um. No, not always hon.

Woof Woof

I was feeling sorry for poor Ella yesterday. She is now 2, and does not know any of the things Luke and Tess did at this age, her colors, animals and their respective sounds, shapes, etc... I just don't spend the time with her I guess. So in my attempt to make it up to her, I was spending a quality 5 min. reading to her from an animal book, and I was telling her the names and the sounds. When I turned to the page of dogs, I said, "What's that?"
She said, "god."
Um. No. "Dog."
"god."
"Noooo, DOG!"
"Noooo GOD!" Ok, new tactic. "Ella, that's a doggy." To which she got a big smile on her face and said, "oh! goddy!" Yep, and a goddy says foow.

Happy Birthday UTAH!

Pioneer Day, either the day the pioneers made it to Salt Lake, or the day Utah was made a state. I forget. We went against tradition this year, skipping the parade (mostly just new Ford trucks being driven by random city officials) and the fireworks, (really, we had the best show ever at the Summer games opening, and then the 4th, you just get a little tired of fireworks by now).Instead, we took off for the hills to Pine Valley, about 1.25 hrs away. It was a great place to hang out for the day, as they have a little fishing pond that got stocked with 5,000 fish the day before we came. The kids ALL caught a fish, all 13 of them! And no, we do not have 13 kids. We went with 3 other families. Ella was terrified of the fish, and put on quite a show shrieking when she saw them thrashing about in the water. We will be enjoying a trout dinner soon. Our picnic site had this great fire pit where we did Dutch Oven chicken, veggies and cobbler. No fireworks, again, too cheap, and, illegal in a Nat'l Park. Kate took a tumble into a creek while trying to cross the tree that served as a bridge, she's a little bruised, but ok. Ella got sooooo disgustingly filthy. Truly, I had to look away. The dirt up there was so black, and she was covered in it, because of course, she had to rub it all over her. Still experimenting for her spa business. I had to give her a bath in a cooler before we went home, which she detested, but she was just so filthy. Ew. Luke started this gigantic 'log cabin' fire, 5 min. before we packed up, the bugs were coming out, and we had no deet. Anyway, fun fun.

Murphy's Law/Spa Treatment # gazillion

It never fails, I take the 3 hours to wash my couch's slip covers, I just get them back on, and the couch looks brand new, and within MINUTES, someone spills something all over it. Last time it was juice. Grape juice. The time before that, chocolate. I know, just shoot me. This time it was.....spa girl Ella. Her treatment du joir? Lotion. Of all the practical things to smear all over your body, WHY did she have to get it all over my freshly washed cushions?! WHY?! WHY?! WHY?! There is no picture of my little estitician (spell check is giving me nothing on this? anyone?) this time, because I was too busy yelling and screaming and spanking and scrubbing and bathing to think about grabbing the camera. I should just give up cleaning all together. It's so pointless around here.

Block Party '08

In my self-induce blogging ban, I forgot to write about this. Every summer, our friend Bonnie organizes a fantastic block party. She hires a band, another neighbor sets up a bounce house, all the homemade hula hoops come out (that' s Luke in the dark blue), and friends, family and neighbors come with food for a fun filled summer evening.

The bounce house, always a hit, until someone gets hurt. (Isn't that just the way life goes? It's all fun and games, till you put an eye out...)

No one ever dances, except a few older ladies, and Bonnie. Most of us just sit around eating our 4th plate of food, and making fun of the crazy dancers...just kidding. We wish we were so bold. Lucky for my kids (that's Ella) Bonnie is willing to dance with them, their parents refuse.

This is one of the giant Sycamore trees on the street. The kids decided to take their partying up a few stories. That is Regan in the red shirt. His parents didn't come, they sent him and his brother with a friend (Ivie), who apparently didn't think much of her charge being 50 ft. up in a tree. We Cedar folk aren't the suing type. Or maybe we are just not obsessed with our children and their whereabouts or safety for that matter. My friend from AZ was astounded that we all slept with the windows open. "Aren't you worried about an Elizabeth Smart thing?" Hmmm, honestly, no, I don't think I EVER even thought about that. The idea would have occurred to me in Vegas I'm sure, but here, well, it just seems so safe. A false sense of security maybe, but life is sure a lot easier w/o having to worry about your kids every second. I may take this a little too far, as Ella has been returned to us at least once this summer by a stranger (hey, she's an escape artist for crying out loud!) even the strangers are safe around here. Lucky for you, you say? Well yes, of course. Don't anyone send CPS to my house. I'll deny it ever happened.
But I digress, Fun fun fun block party. Thanks for the great party Bonnie.

Why I blog

So I haven't blogged a lot lately, and this is why, I recently found this very funny blogster who makes fun of all us mo-mo (read, mormon mom) bloggers, and, well, it just hit home a little too much. Honestly, it made me think, I am so pathetic. While her blog is so funny, and so true, it just made me want to re-evaluate my reasons for blogging. This is just a sample post from her blog, and if you click on the links, you will find equivalent posts from my blog.

love!

"ANyOnE cAn bE a fAthEr, bUt iT tAkEs sOmEonE spEciAl tO bE a DAD!" -- either by Anonymous or Boyd K. Packer, I can't remember. (Yep, just check out all my cool quotes, right under my picture)

Sorry this is late!!! Even though Jordan/Jason/Wes/Taylor isn't a dad YET, one day he will be (No this is not an announcement....!!! LOL!!! That's an inside joke so you probably don't get it, even though I'm obviously saying I'm not pregnant). Since he is the future father of our future kids (and he'll be the BEST dad EVER since he is already the BEST at everything else...golfing, law/dental/business/medical school, and being spiritual) I just want to publicly say LOVE YOU ANGELBABE! So that inspired me to tell you some of the other things that I love.

• I love blogs with alliterations in their headings: the family's last name, followed by a real silly adjective describing just how zany their daily adventures are. In this, proper use of comma's somehow eludes me and all my friend's.
  
• I love SUNSHINE and I hate when it's FREEZING and I love capitalizing WEATHER-RELATED DESCRIPTIVE TERMS!
• I love running errands. I run TONS of errands. It is really rewarding to not only run errands, but then to blog just how many errands I run because I run so many errands. Phew!
• I love diet coke. But more than that, I love to talk (and blog) about how I know it's a WAY bad habit and I'm trying to cut back so I pretend that I only have one can a day. For some unknown reason, I love pretending a sugar-free soda is meth.
  

What do YOU love???

OK. So that was embarrassing. I could go on and on. She pretty much pegs me, well, except, I think I do a decent job of using proper grammar and sentence structure. Well, who knows. There's always someone who is smarter than you.

So after my soul searching, here's what I came up with:
To begin, it was all about journaling, you know, keeping a record for posterity...
Then, it became fun. A creative outlet for my bored soul.
Then, I got a few comments about how funny I was, etc. etc. and then it became about my ego. I have readers, therefore, I must be witty and clever. I must not disappoint. Here's where I started leaving off the boring details that pretty much MAKE UP MY LIFE, to insert instead, only the funny and occasionally exaggerated story (My brother DOES NOT beat his wife). For the shock value. You know.
So, (how many SO's is that? Anyone keeping track?) I have taken a breather this month, to re-access my life in blog, and to ground myself again. I am trying very hard to go back to my original motivation. Journaling for posterity. Not for the kudos, and not for my ego. Oh, who am I trying to kid? It's ALL ABOUT ME...IT'S ALWAYS BEEN ABOUT ME! ME! ME! ME!

BFF in town

Boy, it was a whirl wind visit, but we had fun. We hiked Zions w/o Ella (thanks Karen, Bonnie) so I didn't have a coronary carrying her around in the 100*+ heat. It was fun, our kids got along swimmingly, and we did get a few minutes to talk and catch up. Diana's husband Jordi is my own personal photographer (see Xmas card) so he was busy with 2 camera's and a video camera the whole time. At one point he had the video camera in my face just as we were discussing menstruation. Fun fun. That'll be an interesting clip. Hey, we haven't really talked for a long time, what else would we be discussing? Kids? Life? No. The woes and hardships of women.
Well, I didn't even bother to take any pictures, except just this one, Jordi took about 200, so when I get the CD, I'll post what will undoubtedly be the most amazing shots of Zions/my children ever. Thanks for coming guys! Love my friends. Love 'em.

Spa Treatment #437

Ella, Ella, Ella...
When will this child of mine get tired of rubbing 'stuff' all over her?
This was our recent trip to the park. The kids use the sand volleyball court as their own personal sand box, transferring water from the creek, making a, well, a muddy mess. OK, they call it lakes, rivers, damns, etc. etc. Whatever. It's a mess.
Ella had already trashed her outfit this day, and had next moved on to her mud bath. She had sand in every crack and orifice. Let me tell you, she wasn't too happy when I had to clean it all out.
Somehow, I don't think this phase she's in is going to end anytime soon. I just hope she outgrows it before she's old enough to mud wrestle. Maybe, she'll use this love and channel it into opening her own spa. She could specialize in all sorts of weird and exotic facials, skin rubs and lotions. You know, cater to the 'stars', who are always looking for something new and better. Or just expensive and out there. You never know...my trial may be Ella's lucrative career.

Zions w/ the Ferre's

This summer, by BFF came to town to visit, and we spent the day hiking in Zions. I may have mentioned before that her hubby is a professional photographer. I just got these pictures, 538 shots of the ONE day they spent with us. Yep. In their 7 day trip to Utah, they took.... wait for it..... 8,000 pictures!! How many memory cards is that? Crazy. Anyway, I'm ultra grateful, because now I have new material to work with, and some excellent shots of the kids. Thanks Jordi and Di, you're the bestest!

Shakespeare

Mom came to town this weekend to take us to some plays. The kids saw Fiddler on the Roof, and then we went to Taming of the Shrew. Excellent. Both of them. Thanks mom! Chris and I are going to go see Cyrano de Bergerac this weekend. I love living in Cedar. Tony award winning theater right here in this one horse town. Anyone want to come see a play? Free room and board!

Luke's ticker

The results came back from the echo. His heart is normal. Sooooo, it's on to the shrink. Crazy is as crazy mom is. Poor kid. He gets it from me, and all my mom's side. Depression runs in the family. There were even a couple of suicides. I think he has GAD (Anxiety). I'm not looking forward to driving him to St. George for appt.'s. Hope we can find a psychologist here in Cedar. And don't worry, we are not going to medicate him. One pill popping person in the family is enough. Hopefully the Dr. can just teach him some coping methods. Hmmm... maybe I should go too. I can go, pretending to be the supportive parent, when in actuality, I'll be mooching off his insurance. Free therapy for me! I always wanted a therapist! I'd feel so...so... cosmopolitan, you know, anyone who's anyone, has a therapist. Wow. I am definitely crazy. I must have forgotten to take my pill today...

Finally! the Fourth

I don't know what my problem is. I just can't get
my act together this week. Chris has been out of town since the 2nd, and I have just let everything go to peices. The house is a wreck, I haven't cooked or blogged for a week, the summer lazy's have got me.
Well, here are a few pictures from the 4th, we just went up the canyon to the river bottoms. Water, rocks, mud, what more does a kid need? We roasted marshmallows and wienies for dinner, I got a good sunburn, and just hung out with friends. Later we went to do a few 'illegal' fireworks at our friend-the-ex-cops house. The kids thought that was a riot, since Chris and I have never actually done our own fireworks. We always opt for the 'free' show. Yes, we are so cheap, we don't even buy sparklers. I know, you can all say a collective, "ohhhhhh, your poor neglected kids!" now. Whatever. We're building men and women with character....blah blah blah....This year however, I was too beat from 6 hrs. at the river to stay up for the real show, so we just mooched off our friends expensive kit from WY.
Today was a day of appointments. We actually had lunch in the hospital cafeteria, because we were there all day long. All the kids saw the Dentist. No cavities, yeah! Luke had a echo cardiogram. We are just ruling out heart problems as a cause of his migraines. We have to get them under control before school starts, because dang it! I am not homeschooling anymore! We'll get the results next week. If the heart is ok, it's on to a shrink for a little 'stress management'. I know, he must get it from me. Poor kid, at 11, you'd think life would have no stress, it's all rock collecting and duct tape...sigh.
Next, I had a visit with the doc to see what's up with my Vertigo. He is doing a full blood work-up and I should know by Friday whether I am anemic, hormonal, or just plain crazy. It wasn't my ears or my caffeine intake, so whew! I don't have to give up my addiction just yet! I'll do acupuncture if it's the hormones. I'm pretty sick of this teenage acne, for crying out loud, I'm pushing 40! I am *ack* actually wearing make-up to hide the grotesque eruptions. See what I have come to? At this rate, my kids will have acne at the same time I do. It wouldn't be so bad, except that I had really good skin in high school, I guess someone is just getting even with me now. Bother.
Anyways, tomorrow we will be meeting my BFF Diana in Zions for a hike. I hope I don't have a stroke. Chris won't be around to carry Ella. Well, Luke can carry her. He's a good little pack mule. I'll be lucky just to drag my own sorry bones up the hill. Me and Tess, bringing up the rear, as usual.
As you no doubt have noticed, I'm too tired, and lazy to be witty with this post, so if any the previous bored you to death, I'll come to your funeral. If I can make it out of bed in time. Better schedule an afternoon viewing...

The Greenshow

Since Cedar City is the home of the 'Tony award winning Shakespearean Festival', the kids and I frequent the Greenshow quite a bit in the summer. This little pre-show is free, and a mere half a block from our house. We mosey on over early to get a good piece of lawn, and then track down the sucker wench. She's the girl selling homemade suckers. If we are feeling really extravagant, we get tarts, or chocolates. After the 40 min. show filled with dancing, singing, comedy, and ham-boning, we mosey on back home for a bath before bedtime. It's a good way to spend a lazy summer evening.

Serenity Now!

(Picture Frank Costanza (Seinfeld) with his hands in the air, screaming at the heavens)
Ella has officially hit the terrible twos. I may have to kill her. Yesterday, I almost did. I was laying down, (still feeling dizzy) when my door creaks open, and I see little green hands on the edge of my bed. Green? you say? Yes. Green. I jumped out of bed, the room started spinning and I almost fell over, but I managed to grab her before she touched anything else. I wish it were only her hands that were green. I carried her to the tub at arms length, and still got so sticky, I had to wash up before grabbing the camera.
I was still half in a daze and couldn't figure out what the heck she had all over her, but it was sticky and smelled of watermelon. Ohhhhhh nooooooo! It hits me. Green watermelon toothpaste. Crap. While I leave her, unattended, in the tub, I sprint up the stairs, almost blacked out at the top from the effort, run into the bathroom only to find THE BIGGEST MESS I HAVE EVER SEEN! She smeared toothpaste all over the pedestal sink, the stool, the bathroom rug, Tess' carpet, Kate's carpet, the hall carpet, the play table, the play chairs, the window sill, the walls... At this point, I feel like fainting again, and not because I have Vertigo. I can't breathe. I have to sit down, Oh wait! There's stickiness on the bed too. *sigh*
If this were an isolated incident, I could cope, but yesterday she unrolled a whole roll of TP into the toilet, the day before, she emptied all the shavings out of a full pencil sharpener onto the floor, and picked off half the leaves from my incredibly temperamental ficus tree. It will probably decide to turn yellow over this offense.
Add to all that, she can now get out of her crib at will, and frequently wanders the house in the wee morning hours bent on a path of destruction. And I wanted to get pregnant this summer. WHAT WAS I THINKING?!!!

Medical Mysteries Part III

Okay, I have no idea what is wrong with me. After the last episode of Vertigo, I went and bought one of those 'old people' pill boxes, one with a slot for every day of the week, so I could remember whether or not I'd taken my pill, well, I have taken all my pills this week, on time, and STILL, I am so dizzy.
Anyone got any ideas? One friend said I should have my gall bladder checked. I'm NOT pregnant, I don't know. I've got nothing, and I really don't want to go to the Doctor. Anyone? Anyone?

Luke goes big

Last month, Chris took Luke on one of his canyoneering trips in Zion's Nat'l Park. There were a few 100 ft. rappels that Luke didn't even flinch on. He had more guts than a few of the big boys apparently. Chris was very proud.

A Look up at some of the fantastic rock formations, and they even spotted the elusive, and endangered, Spotted Owl.

They think of everything...

Only in a small town, would you find this:
What? you say, well look closely, it's not just a mom and her kid going shopping....it's a mom, her kid and her COKE, in it's own attached mug holder!!! Wow. Now I can shop and have a Coke. (Yes, I fell off the wagon. So sue me. I'm weak. And I have so few pleasures in life, can't I just have this one? Can't I?!)
So next time you're in Afton, WY, go to the local Thriftway market WITH your Coke. Kids are optional.

AWOL

I've been absent from my blog for a long while, I know. We recently returned from a week in Star Valley, WY where we stayed at the Bar M Ranch. This is the Ranch that Chris worked on 2 winters ago, in -20* weather, outside, for months. The owners liked the addition so much, that they graciously allowed our whole family to stay for a week. It was heaven. Each family had their own room, and the common areas were huge, so we never felt too crowded. We are a family used to spending a week on a 55 ft. houseboat, with 35 people, so we can pretty much tolerate any lack of privacy, but it was sure nice to spread out a little. We only left one day to go to Jackson Hole. The rest of the time, we just relaxed. The Ranch has it's own fishing pond, stocked by the local fish hatchery, and the kids spent a good amount of time catching fish. In fact, Luke caught 16 fish. Or maybe just a few fish, several times, since they released all but 3. They tubed down a river running through the property one day. There were four wheelers, and horses, and acres and acres of property to roam, without ever having to get in a car, which was nice, because the 8 hr. drive just to get there was all the time I cared to be in the car. So, we ate good food, slept in late, played Guitar Hero when the kids needed a break from the outdoors, and played Cricket in the evenings, on the lawn. I read like a maniac and finished 2 books, East of Eden by Steinbeck and Fountainhead by Ayn Rand. I think I forgot I even had kids for days at a time, they were so busy outside with cousins, and I was so absorbed in my book. That is what I consider a good vacation. Good food, good times, good books and loved ones to share it with.

-----------Bed heads at noon.
Jackson Hole, WY The famous antler arch park
Jackson Nat'l Park, some waterfall (I forget the name) we hiked 2 miles around Jenny Lake to see, then rode a boat back, but not before losing my nephew Ethan. (He ran all the way back around and was on the dock when the boat pulled up.)
Ella was quite fascinated with this bear rug. She gave it a big kiss on the nose every day.
--------------The main drag, in Afton, WY.